Alex liek oh my god no way. In the recent issue of Rolling Stone, Adam Lambert came out of the closet. OhMyGodNoWayAdam'sGay? I can't fucking believe it. There's no way that his perfectly coiffed hair and pink lip gloss could have tipped me off. You know what definitely kept me in the dark about his sexuality? All the pictures on the internet of him in drag making out with men. That's what threw me off the most. I mean, what gay guy would do that? This is totally coming out of left field.
Seriously now. Okay, the big question is "Did Adam Lambert's sexuality keep him from coming in first?" I don't think that's the case one bit. If it had been a factor, he would have been kicked off long, long ago. In the long run, I'm more attracted to Kris Allen, and we all know that the only people that won the show due to talent are Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Jordin Sparks - everyone else won because of personality or looks. The only other bigshot was Chris Daughtry, and he didn't even make it to the final three. Now, I'm not saying that Lambert didn't have personality - I don't even watch AI but I knew everything about him like months ago. He's full of personality. So why did he lose? Do we really care? We know he's going to get a better career under a different label and won't have the AI execs financially raping him the rest of his life. There you have it folks. I hate American Idol, I will never listen to Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. I will, however, keep you updated on my ungrounded opinions of which I am never wrong.
Phillip & Jeanine - Hip-Hop - Napoleon & Tabitha Vitolio & Asuka - Broadway - Tyce Jonathan & Karla - Cha-Cha - Tony Meredith Evan & Randi - Jazz - Tyce Tony & Paris - Hip-Hop - Napoleon & Tabitha Jason & Caitlin - Bollywood - (to Jai Ho) Brandon & Janette - Foxtrot - Louis Van Amstel Kupono & Ashley - Jazz - Wade Robson Ade & Melissa - Contemporary - Mandy Moore Maks & Kayla - Samba - Louis Van Amstel
There you have it! That's what we have to look forward to. I'm sad I don't see Chane in there, but I see Wade. Sadly, I see two Tyces , but I see two Tabitha and Napoleons! Guaranteed to be a good, good night. Tune in tomorrow night at 8, 7 central for all the SYTYCD goodness! I'll update either Wednesday night or Thursday Morning with my thoughts, reflections, and predictions! Make sure to vote! Lines open right after the show. Just Call 1-888-TEMPO-XX (replace XX with couple number.) Vote as many times as your fingers can possibly handle! USE THAT REDIAL BUTTON!
According to SYTYCDism, who seems to be hella reliable with their info, Brian Friedman twittered that he will, indeed, be back to choreograph this season!!! You may remember his choreography from Mya's video for My Love is like... Wo, along with some select numbers from SYTYCD season 2 including the top 20 routine to Technologic, Donyelle and Benji's jazz-pop routine for Put the Needle on It, and the contemporary routine for Dance, Dance. Brian's style is all over the place in the best way possible, and I'm so excited to have him back. We can also count in Shane and Wade, two of my favorite choreographers in the history of ever. Also, spoilerwise, while we don't know who she's with, Kayla Rodomski will be dancing a samba this week.
I'm likely to update later tonight with crazy amounts of spoilers, since the performance portion of the program is filmed monday but not aired til wednesday. **EDIT** I am an idiot. Filming is tuesday.
Man, it's been a while since we've talked about this show. I caught the episode last night where the guys get in the ring and fight each other... And wow. Let's see if I can recap. Fox is a Vagina. Chi Chi and Sinister/Brandon are totally not even friends anymore. Flex is so hot. Big Rig makes me laugh. He's half meathead and half redneck, but I love him. Six Guage is too nice so he was sent home. 12 Pack is an idiot.
All caught up?
Good.
So Fox tapped out while he had Chi Chi pinned. Because Fox is a woman. Later, we see him sitting on a chair with 12 Pack, because Fox is totally gay for 12 Pack, and he says "Would Johnny Depp fight for a woman?" to which Flex replies "Yes, he's a fucking Pirate." I think it's finally hit Flex that while he may be an accident-prone Bostonian moron, the guys in this house are even dumber. As much as I love 12 Pack, he is in so over his head. He is so incredibly out of place in the house, and I think he knows it. Sinister is my favorite in the house - well, next to Flex, of course. Is it wrong of me to desperately want my own RealiDating show, not because I want to be famous but because I think I could do it better? I just feel like I wouldn't make the same mistakes that this girl makes. Also, is it wrong that I'd want Flex on my show? No, not at all. ...don't judge me.
Alex I'm a Celebrity... is easily my favorite show that I'm not watching. They may as well call it "Trainwreck 101." Producers of the show are attesting that Speidi are not, have not, and will not be held against their will. The "Lost Chamber" was indoors with standard jungle bugs, nothing out of the ordinary, and Heidi was not rushed to the hospital, especially considering they have EMT on staff at all times. They've been latching onto current world problems the entire show - upon arriving in the jungle, Heidi immediately said that this was worse than torture, and she would gladly do this to Al-Qaeda, whereas Spencer was more upset that he was more rich and famous than everyone around him. Note: Spencer and Heidi are of a new breed of celebutants who are only famous for being famous. If you haven't seen their show The Hills, please imagine a thoroughly diverse cast where everyone is Paris Hilton. I'm honestly not sure if Spencer has ever done a days work (though I'm sure he considers all those interviews to be taxing on his "me time," which is about 98% of his time. The other two per cent is "pretending to love women" time.)
The insider sets the record straight with "Extra," saying, "Accusations that Heidi and/or Spencer were harmed in any way are untrue. They quit the show last Monday; stayed in a hotel for 3 days. Then on Thursday, they re-joined show and entered the 'Lost Chamber.' They stayed in Chamber from 4:30PM until 6:30AM."
The source insists the Lost Chamber posed no harm to the "Hills" duo. "The environment in the "Lost Chamber" was not in any way harmful or dangerous; no critters, just a few ordinary bugs. They were indoors -- never in any danger or facing life-threatening situations. Absolutely no one is or was being held against their will."
"They kept them locked up and through the roof they were dropping spiders the size of [Heidi's] hands in on her in the black. They treated them like they were criminals or terrorists. She was throwing up 30 times with nothing in her stomach. She was really sick. She thought she was dying….I know they pulled such shitty antics. But being treated like criminals or terrorists? It's insane!"
Malkin continues, revealing more from his inside source:
My show insider insists the newlyweds were not only fed, but they were only in the lost chamber for about 14 hours. "They slept most of the time," said the insider, who asked not to be identified. "And when they weren't sleeping, they were laying side by side praying."
The insider also said Heidi was not vomiting: "They were in happy spirits when they came out of the chamber."
Now, sources say, Spencer is considering suing NBC for its treatment of him and Heidi, while NBC is threatening to sue the newlyweds if they don't live up to their contract and bail in the show.
I can honestly say that I'm pretty sure no one was suprised by Extra and E! Online's report.We all knew that the Ambiguously Retarded* Developmentally Delayed Duo werefull of shit and I'm glad the producers and an "insider" set things straight. These two knuckleheads** couldn't tell Torture from their 8x10 Glossies of each other they keep on their separate nightstands. (Quite frankly, waking up to an image of either of them is torture.) I can't wait till America falls out of love/hate with these two so they can finally be out of a career and out of this blog. But as long as the public keeps listening to Spencer being a "Super Villian" and Heidi being his deficient Harley Quinn, I will continue to blog about it (further hindering my own goal. Hmm..... Irony?) One day, we'll learn that Spencer's creepy flesh-colored beard is actually hair plugs from the base of Heidi's skull, and they're only together in case his plugs go bad.
*No matter how applicable it is, it's never nice to call someone retarded. **What am I, Ninety?
Spencer and Heidi are now claiming that I'm a Celebrity... Get me out of Here! tortured them for attempting to leave. Heidi allegedly has stomach ulcers from... get this... being locked in a room for one day, one night, with nothing but water, beans and rice. Other cast members allegedly say this is "the same as guantanamo bay." Guantanamo Bay? More like Boy Scout CampCub Scout Camp my Freshman Year of College. Like... seriously? really? Aside from the fact that multiplereportsconfirmthatthesetwo are worse than Troop Beverly Hills, I'm pretty sure that a) torture is illegal, and b) beans and rice is what mexico thrives on. Then again, I know nothing about geography or imports. Mexico is near Atlantis, right? (Look it up on google maps, I'm not wrong.) I'm one of those people that tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but these two clearly couldn't even get their G.E.D. from Clown School. They are solely famous for being famous, and a complete waste of skin. Personally, I think they should donate their skin to burn victims in the hopes that one day, they can grow their own creepy flesh-colored beards. Also, did anyone else ever notice that Spencer and Heidi look like fraternal twins? Yay twincest!!
::edit:: So I finally sat down and tried to watch I'm a Celebrity... and honestly, I couldn't take Speidi. After thirty minutes they had me screaming "get me out of here!" Heidi's Memorable Quote: "I feel like everything's been taken from me... and not in the good way." Spencer's Memorable Quote: "I'm too rich and famous to be cleaning up John Salley's poop."
It's really good to know that fame hasn't gone to his head, or anything. Being a rich, white, straight, god-loving, republican pothead is so fucking hard. I, personally, know exactly what it's like. Seeing as how I toke every day, go to church, and swim in my money. (That's me over there. What you can't see is my HUGE bong shaped like a stripper on a cross.)
What I love is how completely, 100% fake they are - for starters, Heidi is listed on the credits as "Heidi Pratt"... like anyone would call her that. Secondly, they would not shut up about "ohh, my husband! Ohh, my wife!!" Nothing screams fake marriage more than talking about how married you are incessantly. What I love most was the "I mean I can't be myself around all these strangers! I can't cuddle with my husband or do wife things!" then in the confession she was all "I can't not have sex with you for that long!" Or course by this we all know that what she really was lamenting was her inability to roll a fattie on live TV. However, what truly makes this show a blessed monument of what the inventors of television truly intened their masterpiece to exemplify was Spencer Pratt correcting the position of his testicles, saying "ahh, readjustment. Thank the Lord."
I had to stop watching. I couldn't continue because I'm not a violent person, but I was about to grab some adult diapers and drive to wherever the fucking hills are and personally skin them. I just could not take it. The worst part is that I think if Heidi had come alone, she would have lasted at least another night... but it's clear that she's become Spencer's puppet. Problem: her puppeteer has down's syndrome is teen wolf.
Brandon Bryant talks about his rough surface with Mia Michaels.
The dancers' fears: Caitlin Kinney and Jonathan Platero fear hip hop. Evan Kasprzak fears Latin ballroom while Jeanine Mason fears hip hop. Ade Obayomi fears Bollywood. Asuka Kondoh and Maksim Kapitannikov fear krumping. Ballroom makes Vitolio Jeune want to poop in his pants. Ashley Valerio also fears Latin ballroom because of the hip movements. Karla Garcia fears the waltz!
Memorable quote: "America doesn't know that I am a fan of The Hills. Once Heidi and Spencer started fighting, I got into it. I don't know why or how, but it did become one of my favorite shows." - Ade Obayomi
There you have it, folks! Other highlights - I want to be Janette's best friend, and Paris Torres is as obsessed with Joel McHale and The Soup - sounds like my life!! Watch the videos over at eonline.
Also, sytycdism has spoilers of who's partnered with who in the top 2o! If you don't want to know, don't read it!
Janette Manrara + Brandon Bryant -Personally, I'm nervous - this seems like a complete power play. These are already two incredibly strong dancers with even stronger personalities. It's like the show is setting them up to take it all the way. ...then again, I really like them, so why am I complaining!
Evan Kasprzak + Randi Evans -I'll agree with sytycdism on this one, I'm glad they're putting these two together. Evan's strong fanbase will pull her up - but will it be like Twitch/Kherrington or Lacey/Kameron where they aren't anywhere near the bottom two until they hit the top ten, and their original partner is immediately sent home?
Phillip Chbeeb + Jeanine Mason This group will be interesting - they really haven't put much spotlight on Jeanine, so it'll be cool to see Phillip drag her to the front. From what I've seen of her I really like her, but we'll see.
Vitoleo Jeune + Asuka Kondoh I'm only nervous because I don't know if Vitoleo has enough training to be able to help out Asuka - from the past, Latin Ballroom dancers have been notoriously bad at contemporary. Also, neither of them seem to have a particularly strong fanbase, but I'd really, really like to see Asuka stay in the competition as long as possible - I like her!
Something that's become difficult over the years of sytycd is that the more popular it becomes, the wider it's viewer population is. That's how we get viewers who will solely vote for someone based off of personality. The dancers and reality show addicts make up the rest of the viewing population. Season three was incredibly predictable, and we liked it that way. Now that SYTYCD is becoming mainstream, it's throwing off people like me who used to be able to predict with 90% accuracy who was going home. (I never thought I'd lose Pasha!) That's not to say I'm not happy this show has gone mainstream - I get far less dirty looks when I tell people that my Wednesdays and Thursdays are booked, and it does make more and more people want to take up a dance class, which is just incredibly important.
Howdy, y'all! Long time no post. School's out for summer, so the four of us haven't really been together enough to complete a cohesive blog. However, with SYTYCD vegas week ending last night, I've got a lot to say!
Let's start with the week itself. Holy crap! They had two rounds of solos instead of the usual one, along with a round of jazz and a round of broadway, on top of the already-strenuous rounds of hip-hop, ballroom, contemporary, and groups! They really put the dancers through hell this week.
I was deeply surprised and disappointed at some of the people they let go during the week. I was furious that they sent home Natalie and berated Brandon for their performance in the Jazz piece - considering Sonya had used them as examples for the rest of the class, I just couldn't fathom what the judge's reasoning was. Frankly, I want to know what crawled up Mia's ass and turned into a dick. Aside from how many times I heard her say "I'm a cutter," she was just outwardly mean to some of the dancers. What would have slid just fine in past seasons was berated and beaten my Mia. I'd love to see that bovine beyotch attempt ballroom - the girl who'd auditioned with Phillip should not have been sent home, that was ridiculous. Priscilla was an early favorite for me, and her personality alone would have carried her far through the show, let alone her amazing dance ability. Her performance in the broadway routine definitely didn't warrant dismissal. Peter Sabasino, the amazing tapper from philly, made it incredibly far, but I wanted to see him in the top 20. I certainly hope he'll be back. I'm also furious that the beautiful tap girl was sent home. Also, I love Ryan Kasprzak, but I know he'll be back for season 6, so I won't have to miss him for long. Besides, I've loved Evan for a year now, so it's stellar to see him where he belongs - in the top 20 baby! (And if either of you want my phone number, just let me know. I'll be there like shareware.)
America! Here are your top twenty dancers!!
America, here is your top 20! (in no particular order. who's with who information is unreleased)
I, personally, have extraordinarily high hopes for season 5! I really wasn't all about season 4 and season 3 is still my all-time fave, but this crew is amazing. People I want paired up: Evan + Janette Tony + Caitlin Asuka + Phillip Maksim + Paris
Opinions? For starters, I'm terribly nervous for Tony - I'm really afraid he'll be this season's Cedric. (For those that don't remember, Cedric was a member of the Season 3 cast who was put into the top twenty solely based on his amazing solos, but bombed every dance asked of him.) I'm similarly nervous for Phillip Chbeeb. I'm really excited to see more of Asuka. Okay, she's not much of a looker, but damn can she dance. Caitlin Kinney is adorable, but I don't know if her personality is going to be able to take her far enough. Though I like Paris, I'm really nervous that the rest of America won't. Evan... oh Evan. We already know how I feel about him. I feel like Janette is going to be a complete breakout star that no one saw coming. She reminds me so much of Anya Garnis from season 3. I also really hope that Brandon not only brings it, but brings it hard - he's gonna have to, cuz the second Mia is on panel, he's going home. Simple as that. Mary Murphy is clearly afraid of her (I would be too - she's like Mike Tyson, only angry.) I'm terribly impressed with the absolute variety of this season's top 20. ...wait, just kidding. The makeup is actually very similar to season 4.
Season 4: Contemporary/Ballet: 12 Hip-Hop/Street: 4 Ballroom: 3 Other: 1
Season 5: Contemporary/Ballet: 11 Hip-Hop/Street: 3 Ballroom: 4 Other: 2
As you can see, contemporary dancers tend to dominate this competition. Season 2's final four was incredibly diverse with a West Coast Swing dancer, a Latin Ballroom dancer, a Contemporary Dancer, and a Contemporary/Hip-Hop dancer. Season 3 was three contemporary dancers and a west coast swing / latin ballroom. Season 4 was two hip-hoppers and two contemporary/jazz. It'll be more than interesting how this season's final four plays out...
I think it's going to be an interesting season. For starters, Louis van Amstel from DWTS will be joining on as a choreographer. You may remember him being partners with Monique Coleman, Lisa Rinna, and Priscilla Presley. He's an amazing dancer and will make a fabulous addition to our choreographers. Shane and Wade will be returning as guest judges, meaning that hopefully they'll choreograph! I do miss the days where Shane did all hip-hop, Wade did all jazz, and Mia did all contemporary. I love Tabitha & Napoleon and Dave Scott, and I really miss Dan Karaty, but Shane was always my number 1. T&N's faster routines rarely turn out as stunning, and Dave Scott is pretty hit-or-miss. Mia is completely losing her touch (it would help if she stopped showing up to panel high,) and I really don't care for Sonya's choreography. She's quite an interesting person, but her dances just don't do it for me. Wade... is Wade. What else do you want from me? I have never liked a single dance that Tyce DiOrio has choreographed. I just don't like his stuff. There were even dances that I said "hmm, wow, I really don't like that," and then found out that he choreographed them. That's not to say anything for his personality - though I don't really like that either. I'd rather have Adam Shankman choreograph every broadway routine... and be the third judge every week. Adam Shankman is one of my favorite people in the world. Yes, the world. No one makes me laugh like Adam Shankman. I want a pocket Adam Shankman to cheer me up at all times.
As of right now, Evan is my winner. ...then again, knowing my luck, he'll be gone in ten minutes. It's hard, because last season my favorite was Thayne, who was a constant in the bottom. This season I have like ten favorites. Stay tuned every wednesday and thursday to see my opinions as to what's going on, k? Here's a video of Evan before SYTYCD. ...you'll understand.
Claudia Premiere tonight! I suppose premiere is a more fitting term than pilot. Anyways, I'm excited about this. I really liked Sharon Osbourne as the host (I don't remember anything about Mo'Nique as the host; two reasons: I wasn't into reality shows much then, and even less so about Flavor Of Love). These would be big shoes to fill- shoes that Ricki Lake could comfortably fill. I don't think I will be disappointed. I forgot all about Ricki Lake, except when reminiscing on calm, collected talkshows of old. Well, calm in comparison (Maury, you're a douchebag). She was quietly becoming AWESOME while we weren't looking. Did you know she starred as Tracy Turnblad in the original Hairspray movie? Yeah, me neither. Also, her middle name is Pamela. Thanks, Wikipedia.
She's been recurring on King of Queens, too, but to know that I guess someone would have to actually watch it.
so now to wait for the premiere!
ps. LaLa is engaged to 'Melo, and I dimly remember LaLa from nineties-era VH1 or MTV shows. I've gotv nothing for or against Loveline's Stryker, except that he was born with a tail.
Who is Judging Reality? Alex, a recent graduate with a B.A. in Psychology, just trying to make it in the world. Claudia, a Senior Biology major with a concentration in Epidemiology. You know she has some shit to say. Matt, a Senior pre-International Peace and Conflict Resolution major with a concentration in Arms Reduction. Matt happens to be banned from Denmark. and Jenn, a Senior Interior Design and History major who, despite seven hour classes, takes time out to judge the shit out of celebreality.
Hey, I'm Alex.
I really like Pop Culture.
vh1, mtv, the works. Love it. I wanna talk about it.
Alex's iPod - My not-so-indie blog about music.
Judging Reality - A blog run by myself and my old roommates where we judge the hell out of reality television.
Is This Canon? - my own personal blog
OhMyGodNoWayAdam'sGay? I can't fucking believe it. There's no way that his perfectly coiffed hair and pink lip gloss could have tipped me off. You know what definitely kept me in the dark about his sexuality? All the pictures on the internet of him in drag making out with men. That's what threw me off the most. I mean, what gay guy would do that? This is totally coming out of left field.
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