Tool Academy (February 15th)

Alex's Take

Okay.
So this week, I've got a busted shoulder.
We're pretty sure it's an injured rotator cuff.

I'm essentially going to be writing this as I watch the episode. It's so much more fun that way. So feel free to watch the episode and follow along.

Ohh, romance. Ooohhhhhh romance.
I, personally, LOVE the sock puppet idea. I'm totally stealing that for when I'm a relationship therapist.

Therapy:

Josh:
HE SAID PUT IT IN YOUR ASS.
I love Josh and Ashley more than anyone has ever loved anything.

Matsu:
JENNA's a FREAK.

Shawn:
I think Aida should be with Matsuflex. Shawn is more of a dumbass than anyone ever. I hope Shawn is on I Love Money.

Tommy:
I still think Tommy and Krista are dumber than anything. That's why they're boring. But so sweet.


Can we talk about how much I love that they did SEX ED.
I love it. Though I totally understand Tommy being uncomfortable. I certainly would be. One thing Tommy's gotten here is class. They introduced this sex ed class because they expected the girls would have no problem with it.

I don't like the endurance challenge. Also, Shawn's a complete DICK. I'm SO done with Shawn. But when it comes to reality television, I'm very quick to write people off.

So I'm crying watching Josh and Ashley's Date. Why can't I date Josh? Though he'd have to be... more attractive?

I realized - Matsu is way too damn into this. "I don't know what I've been told, but bein' a tool is gettin' old." IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE PROGRESS, GET THE F*CK OUT! Shut up, Matsu. Legit. You're like that one guy who's a little too into the band, or the girl who's seen RENT a few too many times.

Also, Krista is a dumb ho. So is Tommy, so it balances out.
My prediction is that there's no way Josh isn't winning this.

I guess I'm talking about the drunk drama?
Okay listen. Here's the deal.
These guys are bigger shit-talkers than most girls are.
Tommy's being a bigger man now than I've ever seen him. I'm proud of dumbass.
But honestly? This drama? This is why I don't date girls.
So why are the boys acting like this? This is retarded. I'm going to join a monastery or something.
These boys just won't stop fighting.

These guys are so self centered. Everything is about them. Ryan wants Tommy to fight... which gets him sent home. Fighting is not hot. Shawn gets jealous when people get some extra help - because clearly, extra therapy is cheating. Because, ya know, it's just like taking steroids before a race. (It's really more like taking steroids before a math test.) None of them understand that this is not a game. This is their relationship! This is their LIFE! Can't they get it!? This is not I Love Money, this is not Dog Eat Dog. This is TOOL ACADEMY.
If these guys want to stay, they need to realize this. It is not about the hundred grand, this not about who wins, it's about salvaging a relationship. I wish they'd understand that. I mean... if Robert and Karine stay together forever, they'll have won just as much as Ashley and Josh. If Ryan wins but still hasn't won Jenna's heart, then he's really lost this.


So I'm sorry. I want the best out of these boys... but I care for none of them... aside from Josh. I want to see him take this all the way... and I know he can. Please Josh... for us?
We need this.