Tool Academy (vh1)
February 1st, 2009
This week's challenge was Maturity.
Before the show, the boys had written what their five year plans included.
Before the Show
Matsuflex (Ryan) - ...a foam party with three bunnies. Playboy Bunnies or actual bunnies, the world may never know.
Mega - Threesomes. Lots and lots of threesomes.
Josh - A Lamborghini... with "Lambo Doors"?
Robert - Actually wanted to further his relationship with Karine, move in together, get married.
Shawn - Money. Bling. Etc.
Tommy - ...wants to be a father?
Matsuflex - Wants four kids with Jenna. Four.
Mega - He wants to get married... Margo not so much.
Josh - Wants to go to Art School, and will put bowling into perspective.
Robert - Same as before. Wants three or four kids.
Shawn - Plans to invest his money smarter. Mind you, he's an underwear designer.
Tommy - Wants to be a father, then get married, then get a job. ...
This week's challenge was Maturity. They had to work with their girlfriends to hunt a mastadon, gather water, and build a shelter. Mega and Margo won the challenge.
Everyone decided that Margo and Mega (or M&M) are faking it, and are just hustlers here to win money. Shawn called him out, Matsuflex... got drunk and angry... about seemingly nothing.
For the Hell of It
They made the boys learn the Alma Mater. ...this was maybe the best part of the show.
Josh got the first badge, followed by Robert, Tommy and Ryan.
Down to Shawn and Mega, Mega was informed that Margo was holding him back, and Mega was then released from Tool Academy.
Now for the Judgment
This was basically a ridiculous episode.
For starters, I'm convinced that Tommy is borderline retarded. No one has ever fit the "Dumb Jock" stereotype better than this man. Granted, he's sweet... but he has no ambition in life. At all. I'm pretty sure I had a gym teacher or two just like him. Did anyone else catch that he considered being a "Brain Scientist"? I think he'd be better in Rock Surgery.
Secondly, I'm sure that M&M were there for the "right" reasons. Problem is that Margo doesn't love Mega. She won't say she loves him, she won't even kiss him. Unfortunately, the guys saw this as Mega bein' a hussla. And then I guess when they said "Mega", Ryan, drunk out of his mind, heard "Matsu" and assumed everyone was bagging on him. And then Matsu truly showed why he was on the show, and not because he counts from One to Three, or because he knows that "when the Matsuflex is thirsty he's gonna gather himself some water." We don't like him because he's smart... we like him because... umm... do we like him?
I can't believe the progress Josh has made this week! This Jersey boy managed to switch his brain on and pay attention to Ashley, which caused him to come in last in the challenge, but first in merit badges.
NOTE: Josh is the only one who occasionally doesn't use HAIR GEL.
Maybe the clean air around his head helped wake his brain up.
Either way, in the end, Mega won the challenge but was sent home. Irony!
Or just the fact that Margo is a big ho. She's awful. She's "a strong angry black woman and doesn't need this.' If I remember correctly, she signed her own dumb ass up for this shit. She was planning on dumping Mega from the start, she just wanted to humiliate him on national television first. When that plan backfired, she played all smooth, but lemme tell you something, they won't last past next week.
I leave you with two things:
I think all of America should get Kung Fu Hero tattoo'd above their Wangs.
Yet another job Tommy shouldn't have is singer. Granted, he committed to it... but he may just not have known better.
Tool Academy February First
"You're not a tool,
but your girlfriend is."
Maybe then you were meant for each other?
"I'm a strong angry black woman."
Should you be so proud? As another minority, I wonder- was it so necessary to say she was black? Not that she can't take pride in that, but of course, it's not like she tried hard to be a black woman, or particulary deserved ot be a black woman. Unlike being homosexual, she didn't have to come to terms with that herself and then go to her closest friends and family to tell them, Hey, I'm a strong angry black woman and it's not your fault (In the case her family, I suppose it may be their fault, what with their undeniable genetics). I mean, should I be saying, "I'm a docile submissive filial Asian girl, and I totally deserve this"? Is it okay if someone else says "I'm a priveledged and pretty white girl, and I already have this shit"? Why is she so damn proud?
But maybe that's not so bad. They can be themselves, I suppose, and not let this reality show which is just a bunch of execs and advertisers trying to make money off some people who are trying to make money. This cesspool of sassiness, STDs and schadenfreude should not be something you get all your love from. Reality TV will not love you back.