Thursday, February 19, 2009

Trophy Wife

Good News!
vh1 took some of my ideas, combined them, and made them their own!
Most notably, they've combined my ideas of "I Love Nudity," "Venereal Disease," "I Love Fake Tits," and my personal favorite, "Future Domestic Abuse Charges" to make a beautiful new masterpiece, called Trophy Wife.

According to Wikipedia (and I'd assume vh1)
"Trophy Wife is a reality television show in which Megan Hauserman has wealthy single men compete for her love. The show originated from a comment made by Hauserman during an episode of Rock of Love: Charm School, in which she stated that she ideally would like to become a 'Trophy Wife'.
In the casting process of this series, VH1 asks for single men with a net worth of over $1,000,000."

Does everyone remember Megan? Least notably, the winner of Beauty and the Geek season 3.
Most notably, the conniving bitch from "Rock of Love," "Charm School," and "I Love Money." A precocious, unnerving swine, she managed to not only cause Sharon Osborne to beat the shit out of her, but proved to America that what she lacked in intelligence, she made up for in seething Machiavellianism. Apparently, the only book she's ever managed to read was "The Art of War." The absolute clone of Regina George, Megan has now swindled vh1 into providing her what I'm sure was Betty Friedan's dream for all females to become - nothing more than an object. (Betty Friedan wrote The Feminine Mystique - look it up.)

They say that a Golddigger is like a Prostitute, only Smarter.
Megan, I think you've disproved this theory.
You go, Megan Tits (I mean Hauserman... no, I mean Tits.) You go and become what you've always wanted to be - a street whore. It's clearly all you understand;
Hot Body = Big Money
I hope you feel fulfilled. I really, truly, deep down hope that you feel you have a purpose. Clearly, I am just jealous that I did not think of it first. Clearly, if I had the body that you have, I would want to be someone's money-based arm candy as well.
I will stop judging you now, Megan Tits, because you have proven that despite your dumb, dumb appearance, you are, indeed smarter than any of us.

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