Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Check out Lady Gaga's music video for Paparazzi to see the triplets '84, '85, & '86 (Skip ahead to about 4.12 to see them on the couch, then making out with Lady Gaga)
Also, see Pitbull's video for Hotel Room Service to see For the Love of Ray J's Floridian hottie, Feisty! (Skip ahead to about 1:24 to see her in the tub)
Hotel Room Service
Sunday, July 19, 2009
-Claudia is in New Zealand
-Claudia has five channels.
I did, however, managed to watch fifteen wasteful minutes of The Bachelor at a house party, which was being shot in New Zealand. And yes, New Zealand is that pretty, and yes, I have something to say about the show.
The girl currently on the date was so boring, I don't remember her name, or much of what she looked like, except that she had brown hair and was pretty enough, in a boring way. She wasn't even unassumingly pretty, in my standards, just a plain, blah sort of attractiveness- you can't say she's ugly, but only because you can't find anything that sticks out enough to fault her on.
I think she was from Dallas.
The guy? Might have been even more boring than the girl, even though the show should be focused on him, it's always more about the people surrounding the main. I do admit that I can be a lot more critical of male physical attractiveness than females, but.. well.. I mean, this is The Bachelor. I felt like he had some requirement to be smokin' hot and desirable, but somehow the producers couldn't cast someone fame-hungry enough.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
As the show will air in four hours, I'm not going to bother making this private or hidden or anything.
Taken from SYTYCDism
- Travis Wall is choreographing this week.
- One dance per couple this week
- Two group dances this week: African for boys, Bollywood for girls
Kayla and Evan - Waltz
Janette and Ade - Hip Hop - Nappy Tabs
Jeanine and Jason - Contemporary - Travis Wall
Melissa and Brandon - Broadway - Tyce DiOrio
Randi and Kupono - Paso Doble
Okay, I think this is great. No really, I do. Give Kayla, who is a good three feet taller than her new partner, Evan, a Waltz. That's a surefire way to get them both sent home. Awesome!!!
Anyways, I'm excited to see Janette away from Brandon. Granted, they gave her to Ade, who isn't fundamentally different from Brandon, but they've got a hiphop. I'm excited to see Ade do a hip hop.
Broadway is going to murder Melissa.
Randi and Kupono, potentially the most feminine of each gender, are doing a Paso Doble??? HAhahahahahah!! That's... gonna be a trainwreck.
Jeanine and Jason, two amazing dancers who have basically been overlooked in their own style, are not only performing a contemporary piece, but it's a TRAVIS WALL routine!!! These two are finally going to get the recognition they've deserved since day one. I'm stoked. :-D
I'd like to apologize wholeheartedly for not updating. Being unemployed is like a self-fulfilling prophesy... I do nothing which makes me want to do more nothing.
So, that being said, I'm gonna talk about last week's performance and results night, and my feelings about how this week is gonna play out.
Brandon + Janette
Argentine Tango - (New Choreographers); Libertango
Tyce called them a power couple, which I've been saying since day one - it was nice to have some conversation from someone whom I believe to be the dumbest man alive.
This was called the "Best Argentine Tango evar" but I'd like to disagree. Remember Sara and Danny's from season 3? Come on, I can't be the only one that goes back and watches old episodes, but I feel as though Nigel and the Scooby Gang only watch them once.
Pop-Jazz - Wade Robson; Roisin Murphy - Ruby Blue
Was anyone surprised that this went well? I'm pretty sure that in the entire history of the show, a couple that got a Wade Robson has never been in the bottom.
Kupono + Kayla
All right, before we start this, I'd like to criticize fellow (and superior) bloggers SYTYCDism. They barely even mentioned Kupono and Kayla until they did that fucking Twilight dance, and now they're tweeting every five seconds to vote for them and making every blog about how amazing that dance was. Yes, the dance was very good, and I'm impressed. However, the hype for them is solely because it was a Twilight dance. I guarantee you that if they'd done the same choreography in the same outfits minus the vampire appeal, it'd not get nearly the same review.
Contemporary - Mia Micheals; Sara Barelleis - Gravity
Really? They got another contemporary piece? It's clear that the show really, really loves them. Two strong contemporary pieces in a row... honestly? Yeah, "drawn-from-the-hat" my ass.
Sadly, I didn't really get to pay attention to it, because my younger brother is a shit and was yelling and breaking things. I did catch that Kupono really freaks me out. I really don't like him at all. I had the same problem with Mark last season - no matter how much I liked his routines, I just couldn't like him.
Broaday - Joey Dowley; West Side Story - The Dance at the Gym
I realized what I like about Joey's style better than Tyce's, and it's because she uses songs that don't have words. Broadway is awkward when you feel like the people should be singing and they're not... anyways, this was okay. Not anything special, but not bad.
Phillip + Jeanine
Russian Folk Dance; Kalinka
Oh come on, that's not fair. Giving Phillip Russian Folk Dance and not expecting them in the bottom? Not Fair, dude!
Jive - Tony Meredith; Bette Midler - Like that There
This was good. It was clear Phillip was getting much better. I'm still proud of him.
Evan + Randi
Hip Hop - Tabitha and Napoleon; Beyonce - Halo
Okay for starters, Randi making fun of the routine the whole time was kind of obnoxious. Like okay, yeah, it's kinda funny. But it got to the point where she was just insulting her choreographers. All in all, it was cute. I don't understand why Evan isn't living up to his full potential on this show - I know he's incredibly talented. Maybe he's just not as good at other styles as we all hoped he'd be. Poor baby. Also, I love that Nigel essentially called them Awkward White Kids...
Samba - Pasha + Anya; Ritmo De Bom Bom
Aww, poor Evan!! He's just... not winning. Poor muffin. He really is an awkward white kid. I love him so, so much but I just can't guarantee he's right for this kind of a competition. Don't get me wrong, I didn't think his Samba was nearly as bad as the judges thought, but... yeah. Not spectacular. He just doesn't have any fire... and I think that's because he's so introverted. And yes, introverted doesn't mean he doesn't have a personality, but that does mean that we don't get to see it, and when you're on a performance based show, personality is everything.
Jason + Caitlin
Fox Trot - Tony Meredith; Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - Minnie the Moocher
Just once again showing that Caitlin doesn't dance with the music. There were moves that should have been on cue with the music and they just weren't. Jason... oh Jason. <3
Jazz - Mandy Moore; Maria McKay - Show me Heaven
I... honestly don't remember this routine. I've remembered every other routine tonight, but I can't remember this one. Hmm.
Ade + Melissa
Disco - Doriana Sanchez; Destination - Move on Up
"Tyce is an Idiot" is my main note for that routine. Melissa was playing it a little slower for me than I think she should have been, and there were points where she really needed to be sharper. The ballet training may be at fault there.
Waltz - Ron Montez; Mary J Blige - A Natural Woman
Is this the one where Tyce said that Ade was... too good? That's such crappy critisizm. "You make it look easy.. and that's a bad thing." what?? God, I hate Tyce so much.
Group Routine - Hip Hop (?) - Tabitha + Napoleon; White Stripes - 7 Nation Army
(awesome group routine!!!)
CAITLIN + PHILLIP have been eliminated.
I am surprised that they basically dealt away with the concept of the Top Ten tour it's apparently the top 12 tour now. hmm.
For me, the most impressive solos of the night were Jasons, Jeanine's, and Ade's.
I think originally they were going to send Ade home until they saw that amazing solo.
Unfortunately, after that elimination, we have lost:
All of our hip hop dancers (Phillip, Tony, Karla) and all but one of our Ballroom dancers (Asuka, Jonathon, Maksim). We have an incredibly non-diverse top 10.
Then again, let's look at the Top Tens of yore.
(Note - Season one, being comprised of sixteen dancers, didn't really have a top ten)
Dmitry (Latin Ballroom)
Heidi (Latin Ballroom)
Benji (West Coast Swing)
Pasha (Latin Ballroom)
Lacey (Latin Ballroom/West Coast Swing)
Jessica King (Contemporary)
Comfort Fedoke (Untrained HipHop)
Chelsea (Latin Ballroom)
Courtney G (Contemporary)
Twitch (Untrained HipHop)
Joshua (Untrained HipHop)
Season 5 (in order of style)
Janette (Cuban Salsa)
It looks pretty clear to me that we have the least diverse top 10 yet...
Caitlin; Playing for Change - Stand by Me
Jason; Evaline - Calm Touching
Jeanine; Chris Garneu - Baby's Romance
Phillip; 5th Element Sountrack - The Diva Dance
Melissa; Kodo - Kashira
Ade; Jib Kidder - Windowdipper
Dj David Guetta feat. Kelly Rowland - When Love Takes Over (samples - Coldplay - Clocks)
Thursday, July 9, 2009
They won't send Phillip home, because then no one in the top ten is a hiphop dancer.
They won't send Kupono home because they love him. They won't sent Kayla or Jeanine home since they're basically the top two girls.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
So I guess I forgot to update this... damn I'm lazy.
Alright, for those that don't know, Karla and Vitolio went home... just like I predicted. Holy crap. Maybe somehow I know what I'm talking about? sweeet.
Now, I'd like to apologize heavily for my being completely wrong on the bottom three couples. I... was incredibly surprised... at least at Phillip + Jeanine. That was probably my favorite routine of the night, I was mad bummed to see them in the bottom 3. Kayla + Kupono I'm actually not surprised at. See, I thought the Twi-Hards would get them in fersure... but there's a very good chance that the Twi-Haters kept them out of safety. *Hi-Five!*
I thought Phillip's solo was awesome, Nigel can suck it.
What I really want to talk about right now though is KC's performance.
That was just... awful.
I mean for starters, she sang the song an octave lower than the original. Secondly, why did she look like someone's forty-year-old mother singing this at the Cruise Ships' Karaoke?? That arm-wave thing that just jiggled her fat made everything awkward. She really looked a damn mess on that stage. I mean... she used to have cred, but that night she was just a fat white girl singing karaoke. I really hope that girl gets it together soon.
Also - I don't think people are fully aware of the amazing guest dancers - Desomnde Richardson is the country's... nay, the world's best male ballet dancer. He choreographed Katee and Will's Pas de Deux last season. He's a phenominal dancer and choreographer, and the fact that he choreographs for the show is an amazing thing on it's own, but that he danced on it? And we, at home, got to see that? We should consider ourselves incredibly priveleged. I mean quite honestly Ballet bores the hell out of me, but he's amazing at what he does, and I will respect him for that until the end.
Brand New Day - The Wiz (Tyce DiOrio)
Karla; Dionne Farris - Blackbird
Vitolio; Rascal Flatts - Here Comes Goodbye
Kayla; Sarah McLachlan - Stupid
Kupono; Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Jeanine; Moonlight Sonata
Phillip; Santigold - You'll Find a Way (Switch + Graeme Sinden remix)
Kelly Clarkson - I Do Not Hook Up
Karla + Vitolio
I'd like to predict something for the Top 10-
Remember that at that point, we'll be voting for individual dancers. I foresee certain people dropping like flies. I see us losing Caitlin immediately. If not Caitlin, then Randi.
My predictions for final four?
Jeanine or Kayla
Follow Vitolio on twittter! @VITOLIO
Follow me on twitter! @loudheadphones
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Can I just say that it feels like this week was an apology for last weeks shitty show? I was more than impressed with almost every performance last night. Let's go through it.
Brandon + Janette - Cha Cha - Jean Marc Genereux; PCD - Hush Hush; Hush Hush
Okay so this was actually a little shaky for me. For starters, it felt more Disco than Cha Cha. Secondly, where was this whole "danger" thing they kept playing on? Was it a good routine? Yes. Was it the routine I was promised? No. There was one lift. In the end, when she slid through his legs - we've seen that move a million times. This was not the best Cha Cha we've ever seen - look up Pasha and Jessi's Cha Cha from season 3 - that's a good Cha Cha.
Kupono + Kayla - Contemporary - Sonya Tayeh; Blue Fountain - Eyes on Fire
Ugh, why did it have to be The Twilight Dance? Yes, the song was from the movie. I half expected Kupono to come out covered in glitter. I didn't really see the vampire aspect of the piece except for in their costuming... it was a killer routine though! Probably Sonya's best piece in her entire time on the show. I loved how often their moves weren't the same but mimicked each other... they make a good new couple, absolutely.
Evan + Randi - Broadway - Joey Dowling; Sweet Charity - Rich Man's Fury
This was an amazing routine! Way better than anything Tyce could come up with. This actually reminded me of two Season 3 routines: Neil + Lauren's Jazz routine to Night of the Dancing Flame and Neil + Sabra's Jazz routine to Sweet Dreams. Evan actually looked like a Brunette, Intelligent version of Neil in this routine, and I was more than proud of him. I don't think they're going to be in the bottom three, but if they are, I'll bet you anything Evan's going home - the judges seem to be incredibly disappointed in him (unlike me)
Jason + Caitlin - Pop Jazz - Brian Friedman; Santigold - Creator
This was so cool! The first time I've actually enjoyed Caitlin's performance. She reminds me kinda of Season 4's Kherrington... she started off really popular but people are starting to lose their love for her. Anyway, I liked this way more than Mary did, and Nigel has a point - when you walk in and they say you're an alien recieving the last earthling's seed, you think "what step does that include??" But yeah, that was just an amazing routine, I'm more than impressed with BriFried.
Phillip + Jeanine - Hip Hop - Nappy Tabs; Kanye West - Love Lockdown
Um wow. This may be one of the best hip hops i've ever seen. Okay yeah, this is their second hip hop with the same choreographers... but you know who's impressing me? Jeanine! Their first one, she had to be kinda cutesy and adorable. This one she had to be tough and just as good at Phillip - and she showed the f*ck up! Being with Phillip is in no way a disadvantage for her, because she is learning this stuff, let me tell you. This was a damn cool routine from Tabitha and Napoleon.
Ade + Melissa - Classical Pas de Deux -Thordel Christiansen; Romeo + Juliet
Oh thank God they finally got this girl on her pointe shoes! This was a pretty stellar routine. As a Pas de Deux it's not meant to be terribly exciting, but man did they do a good job with their faces and attitudes. I love these two... but I stand by that Hip Hop is going to murder this girl.
Vitolio & Karla - Quickstep - JMG; Rufus Weinright - Puttin' on the Ritz
This... wasn't bad, for a quickstep. Lousy way to close the show, but I'm glad they put some attitude into the Kiss-of-Death Quickstep. I loved the Quick-Change, but it definitely should have happened later in the routine. I still can't believe they gave this style to these two - it's like they want them sent home!!
As for the big announcement, I feel as though I already knew stuff about the Dizzy Feet foundation... though I'd like to point out that Dizzy Feet is Nigel's Twitter alias.
Bottom 3 Predictions:
Vitolio & Karla
Jason & Caitlin
Ade & Melissa
This was a hard one. Vitolio and Karla are going in because Vitolio is strange and Quickstep sucks. Jason and Caitlin are going in because I have a feeling that America just doesn't like voting for them. That, and the routine was strange. BriFried is strange.
Originally, last night i'd put Brandon and Janette in the bottom 3, because I figured we needed a complete shocker. I really have no idea who the third couple is going to be. At this point I'm thinking it's Ade and Melissa because they had a slow routine that requires a knowledge of dance to really truly appreciate.
Going Home Predictions:
Tune in tonight at 9 o'clock for the results!
Also, my girl Kelly Clarkson is performing on tonight's results show!!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
If you feel like following me (I do occasionally update), then tweet me at @loudheadphones
Friday, June 26, 2009
Okay, so I was actually incredibly impressed with Tabitha & Napoleon's group routine to Calle Ocho. The cameras, the lights, the dancers... all incredibly choreographed. And the water! Neat.
For those that watch the show, you know that Asuka and Jonathon were sent home last night. I'm incredibly bummed about the loss of Asuka. I disagree with Nigel - she's been growing incredibly throughout the competition. Caitlin Kinney, however, still has no partnering skills! She's just like Jesus from season 3 - an amazing soloist, but just can't follow a partner. I really would have rather seen her go home last night.
I also disagree with Nigel's judgement of Jason. I thought his solo was fantastic - the boy knows what "dancing for your life" means. And his outfit getting in the way? Let me tell you, Jason's outfit was perfect. Cargo shorts and a button up is what I wear every day. What's wrong with that? I'm wearing cargo shorts and a button up right now. And you know what? I dance in cargo shorts and a button up too, so there. ...nah, I'm not really that upset. I just wanted to talk about how Jason and I are twins.
Really though, I don't necessarily like Jason as a person (I've nothing against him, mind you, he's just not exciting.) As a dancer, though, I think he can do no wrong. I think he's technically the most brilliant contemporary dancer we've had in a long time. His dancing actually reminds me a lot of Travis from season 2. I think he gets masked a lot though by Caitlin, who is gorgeous but not on count. Ever. I'm sure you're thinking "man, this guy really hates Caitlin..." but I don't. I like her a lot. She's a fantastic soloist, and I like her personality a lot. The problem is that she's holding Jason back incredibly.
Painfully, I'd like to point out that we've lost three ballroom dancers now, leaving Janette as the only ballroom dancer. Not only that, but having lost one hip-hop dancer, that leaves us solely with Phillip (if you don't count Karla, who auditions and solos as a contemporary dancer.) Then we have Melissa who's a Ballet dancer which is not wholly unlike contemporary, and Evan, who clearly blends broadway with contemporary. We're clearly very diverse.
Music of the Night
Asuka: 3OH!3 - Don't Trust Me
Vitolio: Coldplay - Viva la Vida
Karla: Radiohead - 15 Step
Jonathon: Kodo - The Hunted
Caitlin: Que Sera Sera
Jason: Taking Back Sunday - New American Classic
Group Routine: Pitbull - I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)
Guest Performers - The Rage Boys Crew: Colby O'Donis - Feel It
Musical Guest - The Veronicas: Take Me on the Floor
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Okay, let's wrap this up. I'm feeling incredibly apathetic towards writing this up.
Karla + Jonathon - Dave Scott - Hip-Hop - By My Side (Jadakiss feat. Ne-Yo)
Jonathon was awful, Karla was great. The judges were too hard on Karla, not hard enough on Jonathon.
Asuka + Vitolio - Jazz - Mandy Moore - Heartbreaker (Pat Benetar)
Not a bad routine... but there were parts where moves should have been choreographed and they just weren't. All in all, Mandy didn't put enough into the performance.
Melissa + Ade - Rumba - Tony Meredith - Emotions (Destiny's Child)
This actually wasn't a terrible routine, but this show does some pretty mean Rumbas. They're very strong and I liked this, but there's nothing terribly special about this routine.
Janette + Brandon - Hip Hop - Dave Scott - What a World (Common)
This would have been a lot better had there been better filming. The camera was kinda far away and never moved. They had the right attitude though.
Kayla + Kupono - Viennese Waltz - Jean Marc Genereux - Sweet Dreams for You (Jewel)
Thought this wasn't bad, Kupono could have cleaned some sections up.
Randi + Evan - Contemporary - Mia Micheals - Koop Island Blues (Koop)
This... wasn't anything exciting. Well executed, but a little boring... not unlike the other dances this season.
Caitlin + Jason - Paso Doble - Jean-Marc Genereaux - O'Fortuna
Isn't this song tired out yet? It's like whenever you need a strong powerful battle song, this is what's used. This wasn't a bad routine, but it really showed off Caitlin's incredible lack of partnering skills. I can't wait to see Jason with anyone else.
Jeanine + Phillip - Broadway - Tyce Diorio - Moses (Singing in the Rain)
This was actually my favorite routine of the night. I was pleasantly surprised, I thought Phillip actually really took to his character, and Jeanine looked like Dreamine, if you catch my drift. Tyce actually choreographed my favorite routine of the night. Tyce. I'm too disappointed with this season.
Bottom 3 Predictions:
Karla + Jonathon
Caitlin + Jason
Asuka + Vitolio
Going Home Predictions:
Okay, maybe these are less predictions and more just what I want to see happen, but hey I guess we'll see tonight, eh?
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Before I dissect tonights performance, i'd like to point out that I'm majorly disappointed in this season. I mean... my favorite dance tonight was a Tyce DiOrio routine... for anyone that reads this, that means you'd better buy some industrial slippers (that's a hell-freezing-over joke) That's not to say anything for the talent. They're working their asses off. The choreographers, however, aren't. They're getting lazy. They're playing it safe, causing the dancers to play it safe. I mean, let's get real. Have we seen a dancer like Lacey or Donyelle since their seasons? What about a dancer like Travis or Pasha? We haven't. These dancers are playing it safe. I like their personalities, but not one of them could perform Lacey and Kameron's slutty hip-hop routine with any sort of authenticity. Could anyone perform a Paso Doble like Artem and Melissa? No. You wanna know why? You guessed it - they're playing it safe. The choreographers have gone soft. They're giving the dancers easy dances - well guess what! They made it to the Top 20 for a reason. If they can't cut it, it's their own damn fault.
You know what? Instead of dissecting tonights episode, I'm going to post some of my favorite routines from past seasons. I'll talk about tonights episode tomorrow. Some of the routines I'm about to put weren't even judges favorites, but I certainly liked them. Some of them even have dancers that I don't like... and yet, I'll never forget these routines. This is why I feel like this season can't stack up.
Lacey + Kameron - Hip Hop - Dan Karaty
Sabra+Neil - Jazz - Mandy Moore
Lacey + Kameron - Contemporary - Mia Micheals
Benji + Travis - Hip Hop - Shane Sparks
Season 2's Top 6 Group Routine - Contemporary - Mia Micheals
Benji + Donyelle - Hip Hop - Shane Sparks
Katee + Joshua - Contemporary - Mia Micheals
And that's just a small sample of what I consider talent on this show. I'll finish this evening's update tomorrow... I'm not even sure if i'm going to vote tonight. I'm thoroughly malcontent with this evening's performance. Le sigh.
Ahh, now time for an update on my favorite train wreck, Daisy of Love!
As we all know, Daisy is upwards of one of the most intelligent people we've seen on any of these vh1 Celebridating shows.
I honestly, truly wish I was kidding. I'm dead serious. I really do feel for this girl though, and as dumb as she is, she's really putting her heart on the line for these guys. She's probably the most caring Celebridater we've seen yet (read: Brett Micheals is a douchebag, Flav can't even see the girls he's dating, New York was born with a Vodka Cranberry in her hand, Real and Chance are too high to make decisions)
This is why I tune in week after week - because I, too, care for these gentelmen. However, I have some words today (naturally: it is me, after all.)
Has anyone besides me noticed that Sinister is a total vagoo? I mean... he's straight of made of vagina. He's not sexy - he's a complete whimp. He's not hardcore at all... and quite frankly, it completely sucks that he sold ChiChi out. He straight up told Daisy to send him home. That's complete balls dude. ChiChi is totally in man-love with Sinister, and I can see why - it's unrequited guy-love. ChiChi looks up to Sinister in every way, but will never, ever be as cool - because to Sinister, ChiChi is just a wingman. But hey, don't let me forget 12 Pack a.k.a. Professional Douchebag Dave. What a complete and total tool. I mean, don't get me wrong - I used to love
I feel terrible for Big Rig. He's a complete sweetheart... though Daisy does have a point. He does have a violent nature, and Daisy wants a guy that makes her feel loved - she can protect herself, she doesn't need a man for that. However, we had to say Sayonara to poor Big Rig aka Jeremiah Riggs, who for some reason... cried? Gotta say, didn't see that coming. Daisy just wasn't falling for him... but he made it clear he was falling for her.
Riki Rachtman, however, is by far my favorite person on this show. He's probably the only person who can intimidate all of these guys with just one angry look. He's probably my hero. When I host my own Celebridating show, I desperately want Riki Rachtman to help host it with me. You hear that Riki? I'm in.
This blog entry will contain spoilers.
Okay guys, Welcome to Week 3 of SYTYCD!! Can you believe we're already at the top sixteen! OH geeze, I'm nervous. Okay, let's get these spoilers over with so you can be prepared for tonight's episode.
Karla/Jonathan - Hip Hop by Dave Scott
Asuka/Vitolio - Jazz by Mandy Moore
Melissa/Ade - Rumba by Tony Meredith
Janette/Brandon - Hip Hop by Dave Scott
Kayla/Pono - Viennese Waltz by Jean-Marc Generaux
Randi/Evan - Contemporary by Mia Michaels
Caitlin/Jason - Paso Doble by Jean-Marc & Franx
Jeanine/Phillip - Broadway by Tyce Diorio
The cast of Glee was in the audience!
I feel like Karla and Jonathon are gonna be great at Hip Hop. Karla is a member of the Boogie Bots, and Jonathon has the right frame, size, and youth for a solid Dave Scott routine.
Asuka and Vitolio are going to rock Mandy's jazz routine. I'm excited to see it.
Melissa and Ade are going to do the best they can with Tony's rumba, but anyone can see that Tony's a little off this season. I'm not expecting great things, but I'm not expecting that to be Made's fault.
Brandette are going to rock at hip hop. No questions asked. Expect a killer routine. I've already discussed that these two are going to be a complete power couple and to expect them in the final four. Kayla and Kupono have a vienniese waltz.... hmm. Kayla seems to rock everything given to her, but being a new couple is going to hinder them incredibly for this routine. Kupono, however, moves very similarly to Danny from Season 3 (I think both of them dance incredibly femininely) but Anya and Danny's Viennese Waltz was nothing short of beautiful. Randi and Evan will be okay with Mia's routine, but Mia herself is really slipping. Personal opinion? I think her weed supply ran out last year, so her routines have been slipping and withdrawl is turning her into a heinous bitch. I'm... really nervous about Evan. I love him, but I feel as though his glow is fading. I still love Evan, but maybe more the person than the dancer. The other styles seem to be hindering him. Hopefully this piece will shape him up. Caitlin and Jason's Paso Doble is going to be a breaking point for Caitlin. She's proved to me that she's not all that awesome at partnering, and with the Paso Doble one rarely even breaks hold. To me, Jason can do no wrong. He's just fantastic... one of the best dancers on this show. He'll be okay. Jeanine and Phillip have a Tyce routine... and this is going to kill Phillip. He's got the energy, but I think his lack of training is going to catch up to him. Luckily, everyone loves Phillip, so he's not going anywhere.
So there you have it, guys! Mind you, I don't read spoilers as to how each couple performed, just the style and choreographer - my opinions/predictions are only grounded in what I know and my opinions of the choreographers, styles, and dancers. Of course, in about twelve hours, I'll have updated with what actually happened, and my opinions and predictions as to who goes home. Make sure to watch The Veronicas perform their new hit, Take Me on the Floor, this Thursday on SYTYCD!
Friday, June 19, 2009
So I've already gone over that I think Tyce DiOrio is a little shit, right? good.
He recently appeared on Reality Dish and basically said "hey, we don't care about dancing ability. We only care that our dancers are attractive." Don't believe me? Check out this clip.
Throwing your own show under the bus is only cool if you're Lauren Conrad.
So thanks, Tyce. Thanks.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Kayla Rodomski + Maksim Kapitannikov
Ashley Bellario + Kupono Aweau
It wasn't actually all that hard saying goodbye to Maks and Ashley tonight, to be honest. Ashley was so sweet and a great dancer - but maybe there's a reason she had to audition four seasons in a row. Maks is an awesome, awesome guy... but he just doesn't have that spark for me that I expect from a Russian Ballroom Dancer. I think Maks threw me off a bit because he's horribly effeminate at times - Russian ballroom dancers are expected to be the epitome of masculinity, and he just doesn't have that. It's still sad seeing anyone go tonight, and I'm sure they'll be horribly missed.
Caitlin Kinney: Adele - Make You Feel My Love
Jason Glover: Robin Thicke - Superman
Ashley Bellario: Coco Rosie - By Your Side
Kupono Aweau: Janelle Monae - Many Moons
Kayla Rodomski: Kerli - Walking on Air
Maksim Kapitannikov: Kenny Loggins - Footloose
Also, did you hear the news? Our boy Ryan Kasprzak has made it to Vegas for season 6! I knew we'd see him again.
Sorry I didn't update this earlier guys - I had some bad sushi and my insides are waging war. In lieu of this information, I apologize in advance if this entry doesn't make sense. Here's how I think things went down last night:
Yes!! Brian Friedman is BACK! This season is shaping up to remind me a lot of Season Two. See, Season two had its bigshots - Shane, Wade, Mia, Brian, Mary, Tyce (grr)... then with season 3, we lost Brian and Mary, but it was okay, because Shane, Wade, and Mia made the perfect Trifecta of choreographers, and we added on choreographers like Dave Scott, Lil' C, Mandy Moore, and Doriana Sanchez who helped spice things up. Then, for season 4, we lost Shane and Wade and Mia started losing it. We rushed in the help of Sonya and Tabitha & Napoleon, along with tripling the work load for Mandy Moore and Tyce (grrr). This season we're back with Shane, Wade, and Brian - along with the addition of Louis vanAmstel who is probably my favorite ballroom choreographer ever. With all the other added-on choreographers getting stronger and stronger, I'm incredibly pleased with how this season is shaping up.
Evan + Randi - Jive - Louis vanAmstel - Ray Charles - Shake a Tail Feather
This was fantastic! Randi was definitely better at this than Evan, but Evan held his own pretty well. And yes, they had FUN. I had FUN watching it. The two of them make me so happy. I vote for 'em every week, and you should too! I'm really, really nervous for these two getting hip-hop.
Ade + Melissa - Jazz - Sonya - Terry Poison - 24 Tours (remix)
This was very reminiscent of last seasons Jazz piece to The Garden by Mirah... except this time, they wore hot pink. That in itself was intensely distracting. Now I honestly expected Melissa to have some problems here, but she did really well. What I loved what how in sync these two were. There were times that if the camera angle was different, you would have only seen one dancer! Melissa needs more grunge though. You can still tell she's that perfectionist ballerina who needs to let herself go.
Jason + Caitlin - Hip Hop - Shane Sparks - Trey Songz - Missing You
Okay here's the thing. Mary was incredibly disappointed because last week they were so in sync and this week they weren't... but if you remember my blog last week, I clearly stated that it looked like they learned the choreography in different rooms. This week wasn't much different, and I think I figured out why - Caitlin has no idea how to partner! The only time she killed it in the entire piece is when she went off by herself for a second. I feel like Jason is going to get overshadowed by her because she's pretty but keeps messing up. It's a shame because I like her a lot, but she just can't keep up. She's a solo dancer in a couples competition.
Brandon + Janette - Disco - Doriana Sanchez - Brainstorm - Love is Really My Game
This was really good. It wasn't anything stellar, but Disco routines tend to be a bit of a Kiss of Death on this show. Brandette did a pretty killer job with it though, so I'm proud of them. I don't know if the routine on it's own warrants votes, but their personalities are stellar. Janette is still my fantasy dancing partner. (Also, when Nigel said "if I could stand up..." was he insinuating that he couldn't due to arousal???) Just a thought.
Vitoleo + Asuka - Waltz - Louis vanAmstel - Enya - Dreams are More Precious
This... this was beautiful. Now, if we want to get really technical, it was easy to tell that Asuka was the one that really knew what she was doing, and there were times where Vitoleo was moving just a little too fast. Also, I don't think that Vitoleo's story really came out through the routine. However; it's my "job" to be critical on this blog. In reality, none of the technicalities mattered because it was such a beautiful piece. We were all just sitting in stunned silence.
Maks + Kayla - PopJazz - Brian Friedman - Nadia Oh - Hot Like Wow
See, this is why I'm so happy BriFried is back - yes, he may be insane, but wow, this routine was awesome! ...okay, Maks has to dance a little bit more manly, but in the long run this routine was wicked. I'm so proud of the two of them!
Jon + Karla - Contemporary - Stacey Tookey - The Frames - Falling Slowly
This routine was pretty good. Karla was actually amazing in it... and I'm starting to remember her more and more. With Jonathon... I think a few people, including Mary, missed that when someone says "wow, you're better at this than your own style!"... it's an incredibly backhanded compliment. It says "Man, you're great at contemporary! ...why are you a ballroom dancer again?" (Please see my last blog for why I think Jonathon is an idiot.) It was a nice routine... but it was honestly a bit forgettable, too. I'm glad to see Stacey Tookey on board.
Phillip + Jeanine - (Argentine?) Tango - Tony Meridith - Bailango - Violento!
Poor Phillip! He was an absolute train wreck! It's a shame, because I really, really like him - but that routine was a complete shit show. During judging you could see this poor kid shaking. That did not go well for him... Jeanine was beautiful though. Gotta give her props! I see her accidentally going a long way - I think in the beginning she was incredibly forgettable, but she's getting to be really, really fun!
Kupono + Ashley - Hip Hop - Shane - Black Eyed Peas - Imma Be
For starters, I hate this song.
Secondly, this routine was... eh, it was kind of a mess. The first half was pretty strong, but the second they took off their coats, they just lost all energy and completely blew it. I really wasn't proud of them last night.
Kupono + Ashley
Jon + Karla
Jason + Caitlin
Ashley + Jon
It's really hard at this point, because I don't really want to see anyone go home - that never happens this early in the game!!! I'm going to be bummed after elimination tonight. I'm really, really not excited about it. I'll keep you posted though!!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
This was a really hard loss for me. I understand completely why they went home - Paris' solo was incredibly weak, Tony isn't a very strong dancer, and as a couple they're just too airheaded to handle any other style. Problem: I constantly forget about Jonathon and Karla. As I was writing down every couple that was being announced, I got down to the final couple and realized I didn't know who they were.
Something bothers me about Jonathon, and it's hard because I know I'm being completely unfair. It just seems strange to me that a gymnast would pick up latin ballroom, considering all his training lends him to contemporary. He's hardly the first ex-gymnast we've seen on the show - Caitlin from this season and Neil from season 3 were both gymnasts who crossed over into contemporary. Maybe what bothers me is that our other great ballroom dancers have been Artem, Dmitry, Pasha, Faina, Stanislov... and now Jonathon. So maybe I'm racist against non-russian ballroom dancers. Oh, no wait, I love Asuka (who's also only had a few years latin ballroom training.) Something about Jonathon's dancing says "...wow, I need a few more classes."
I understand, though, why Tony and Paris went home. They will, however, be missed. I don't think we've ever seen someone with as much personality as they have go home on the first week.
I would like Nigel to stop being so scared of breaking up couples - it's really starting to bother me. I would have rather seen Karla go home than Paris. Jonathon would make a good partner for Paris, and she would definitely mellow him out.
As for the rest of the show:
a) remind me to never attend a Sean Kingston concert.
b) I'm getting really, really nervous about Evan. He's a little too uncomfortable having Randi as a partner. He should, eventually,
c) Did they ever say who choreographed the group routine...? (::edit:: Shane Sparks)
d) I am SO done with Boom Boom Pow. This is the third time it's been used on this show (T&N's group routine at vegas, the remix for Tony and Paris' routine, & now the top 20 group routine.)
e) Well now that we're talking about it, I wasn't terribly impressed with the group routine. The cameras were too intense - I wanted to see some dancing!!!
Paris: It Doesn't Hurt by Katie Thompson
Tony: Early in the Morning by The Gap Band
Asuka: Did Ya by BoA
Vitoleo: We Belong Together by Gavin DeGraw
Karla: A Natural Woman by Aretha Franklin
Jonathon: Krazy by Pitbull feat. Lil' Jon
Top 20 Group Routine: Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
Leaving Montage Music:
Paris: Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson
Tony: On Your Own by Green River Ordinance
Bye Tony and Paris! I miss you already!!
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
AH! AHHHHH!!! Oh my god. Sorry, my SYTYCD rush hasn't gone down yet. Ahh!!! Okay, so I just got done voting - Ten minutes for Evan and five minutes for Asuka.
...I may vote some more later.
I'll take each routine. Let's go!
Phillip & Jeanine - Hip Hop - Tabitha and Napoleon - Ne-Yo - Mad
This routine was really good, but you could definitely tell that Jeanine was not comfortable with certain parts. She reminds me a lot of Jaime from Season 3 who could definitely do the routine, but there were parts she was really nervous about.
Vitoleo & Asuka - Broadway - Tyce Diorio - Chicago - Hot Honey Rag
This routine was executed beautifully. Problem is, Broadway is very difficult to have on the SYTYCD stage. For starters, Broadway dances are calmed down because usually, the performers are singing. Secondly, Broadway requires huge sets - something the SYTYCD stage just can't provide. Not only that, but Broadway numbers are usually comprised of like a hundred dancers... not two. That being said, this yet another lacking broadway routine, and unfortunately, no matter how well Vitoleo and Asuka performed it, it would never hold up.
Jonathon & Karla - Cha Cha - Tony Meredith - Lady Gaga - PokerFace
Okay, so this would have been an awesome routine... had Tony choreographed it to this song. For anyone who's ever choreographed anything (yes, I am included in that) it's pretty easy to tell that the routine had next to nothing to do with the song. The camera and lights, however, did an awesome job. I think Tony had a routine all together and then swapped the music. Along with that, there were parts where both dancers went soft when they should have continued hitting it.
Evan & Randi - Jazz - Tyce Diorio - Jamie Cullum - I Only Have Eyes for You
Well, we've already gone over my heinous disregard for Tyce Diorio. This was probably one of his better routines, and you can tell he's getting a bit better with choreographing the lights and camera as well. Was this amazing? My opinion is no. Evan and Randi did a pretty good job, but I still think there's something fake about Tyce's choreography - he never leaves any room for a dancer to really show emotion. I know there's people out there that'll disagree with me, and that's fine. There's still never been a Tyce routine I've liked. I'll vote for Evan 'til I die though. (Call me!)
Tony & Paris - Hip-Hop - Tabitha & Napoleon - Black Eyed Peas - Let the Beat Rock (Boom Boom Pow remix)
Okay, so I apparently liked this routine a whole lot more than the judges... I thought they did a great job! I'm generally wary of T&N routines, since their fast ones tend to not do it for me... but Tony and Paris really hit it! Especially considering they're such airheads!! It did, however, look like two contemporary dancers doing hip-hop... and while it was done well, Tony really should have done better.
Jason & Caitlin - Bollywood - Nikul - Slumdog Millionaire - Jai Ho!
Am I the only one who noticed how off Caitlin was? Jason absolutely killed it, but I forgot to watch him. It may very well be that he looked so natural doing it that I ended up ignoring him in favor of Caitlin, who always seemed a half-beat behind. She wasn't squatting enough, she didn't extend far enough, she wasn't rigid enough, and she wasn't in character enough. I really hate to tear her apart since she's an early favorite of mine, but I really didn't like her in this routine. Jason did a wicked job though, and should definitely be commended for it. (Also, I think it should have been Americanized a bit for this first episode - they should have used the PCD version of the song.) Also, Jason Glover looks like the Muppet Fonzie. Maybe that's just me.
Brandon & Janette - Foxtrot - Louis VanAmstel - Micheal Buble - Come Fly With Me
I was so impressed! Generally, fox trots bore the crap out of me, but these two really killed it! I'm so proud of them. They took to Fox Trot and showed it what was up! They were absolutely beautiful. Watch out!
Kupono & Ashley - Jazz - Wade Robson - Goldfrappe - Felt Mountain
Huuuuuge risk for the first week, Wade. If we hadn't seen the intro, I would have had no idea who the dancers were. Costuming is always a bit of a risk, and I think I would have been far happier to have seen their faces the first week. That being said, whoooooo!!! What an amazing routine! Unique concept (even for Wade!) new, interesting, and, most importantly, well executed. Good job guys! You'll be in next week fersure!
Ade & Melissa - Contemporary - Mandy Moore - Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting
Mandy Moore impresses me more and more every season. It really was beautiful... though it wasn't really contemporary, was it? It was definitely more of a mix between a Pas de Deux and Viennese Waltz... not like I care, it was awesome! Melissa is going to have a lot of trouble with hip-hop though - I don't think her Ballet training will let her be as sharp and quick as it requires.
Maksim & Kayla - Samba - Louis VanAmstel - House of Gypsies - Jum Buh Day
This is what a Samba is all about! Choreographed to the music, spicy, everything the dance needed. (I was not about her dress though - Hot Pink is not a Samba color. She needed a Red or dark Orange.) It was good, strong, and they killed it. Nigel did have a point though - Maksim should be in the ranks of Pasha and Dmetri, but he's closer to that of Jonathon and Stanislov. Maks needs to step up his game. Also, has anyone else noticed she looks like Pumkin from Flavor of Love?
Predictions for the Bottom Three
I predict that the bottom three couples will be:
Vitoleo & Asuka
Evan & Randi
Tony & Paris
My predicions for going home:
Tony & Randi
It's really hard at this point in the game, because the people that are watching it aren't the people that have religiously watched the past bunch of seasons and obsess over the auditions... we're seeing more casual voters. I'm glad people are getting into the show, but it's hard knowing that prior fanbases are basically nullified. Evan and Asuka had a huge fanbase, but now that the show has started, I don't think anyone knows either of them. That's why I voted for them so much (and will a bit more before bed) - they deserve to be in the show, but won't get the votes. This may be the first time though that I don't want anyone leaving the program!
Please - vote right, vote fair, vote often, and most importantly, vote how I tell you to!
Dial 1-888-Tempo-02 for Vitoleo & Asuka!
Dial 1-888-Tempo-04 for Evan & Randi!
liek oh my god no way.
In the recent issue of Rolling Stone, Adam Lambert
Okay, the big question is "Did Adam Lambert's sexuality keep him from coming in first?"
I don't think that's the case one bit. If it had been a factor, he would have been kicked off long, long ago. In the long run, I'm more attracted to Kris Allen, and we all know that the only people that won the show due to talent are Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Jordin Sparks - everyone else won because of personality or looks. The only other bigshot was Chris Daughtry, and he didn't even make it to the final three.
Now, I'm not saying that Lambert didn't have personality - I don't even watch AI but I knew everything about him like months ago. He's full of personality. So why did he lose? Do we really care? We know he's going to get a better career under a different label and won't have the AI execs financially raping him the rest of his life.
There you have it folks. I hate American Idol, I will never listen to Adam Lambert or Kris Allen. I will, however, keep you updated on my ungrounded opinions of which I am never wrong.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
SYTYCD Spoilers are HERE!! Yay!
(according to SYTYCDism)
In No Particular order
Vitolio & Asuka - Broadway - Tyce
Jonathan & Karla - Cha-Cha - Tony Meredith
Evan & Randi - Jazz - Tyce
Tony & Paris - Hip-Hop - Napoleon & Tabitha
Jason & Caitlin - Bollywood - (to Jai Ho)
Brandon & Janette - Foxtrot - Louis Van Amstel
Kupono & Ashley - Jazz - Wade Robson
Ade & Melissa - Contemporary - Mandy Moore
Maks & Kayla - Samba - Louis Van Amstel
Tune in tomorrow night at 8, 7 central for all the SYTYCD goodness! I'll update either Wednesday night or Thursday Morning with my thoughts, reflections, and predictions! Make sure to vote! Lines open right after the show. Just Call 1-888-TEMPO-XX (replace XX with couple number.) Vote as many times as your fingers can possibly handle! USE THAT REDIAL BUTTON!
Monday, June 8, 2009
You may remember his choreography from Mya's video for My Love is like... Wo, along with some select numbers from SYTYCD season 2 including the top 20 routine to Technologic, Donyelle and Benji's jazz-pop routine for Put the Needle on It, and the contemporary routine for Dance, Dance. Brian's style is all over the place in the best way possible, and I'm so excited to have him back.
We can also count in Shane and Wade, two of my favorite choreographers in the history of ever.
Also, spoilerwise, while we don't know who she's with, Kayla Rodomski will be dancing a samba this week.
I'm likely to update later tonight with crazy amounts of spoilers, since the performance portion of the program is filmed monday but not aired til wednesday.
I am an idiot. Filming is tuesday.
Man, it's been a while since we've talked about this show.
I caught the episode last night where the guys get in the ring and fight each other...
Let's see if I can recap.
Fox is a Vagina.
Chi Chi and Sinister/Brandon are totally not even friends anymore.
Flex is so hot.
Big Rig makes me laugh. He's half meathead and half redneck, but I love him.
Six Guage is too nice so he was sent home.
12 Pack is an idiot.
All caught up?
So Fox tapped out while he had Chi Chi pinned. Because Fox is a woman.
Later, we see him sitting on a chair with 12 Pack, because Fox is totally gay for 12 Pack, and he says "Would Johnny Depp fight for a woman?" to which Flex replies "Yes, he's a fucking Pirate."
I think it's finally hit Flex that while he may be an accident-prone Bostonian moron, the guys in this house are even dumber.
As much as I love 12 Pack, he is in so over his head. He is so incredibly out of place in the house, and I think he knows it. Sinister is my favorite in the house - well, next to Flex, of course.
Is it wrong of me to desperately want my own RealiDating show, not because I want to be famous but because I think I could do it better? I just feel like I wouldn't make the same mistakes that this girl makes. Also, is it wrong that I'd want Flex on my show? No, not at all. ...don't judge me.
I'm a Celebrity... is easily my favorite show that I'm not watching. They may as well call it "Trainwreck 101." Producers of the show are attesting that Speidi are not, have not, and will not be held against their will. The "Lost Chamber" was indoors with standard jungle bugs, nothing out of the ordinary, and Heidi was not rushed to the hospital, especially considering they have EMT on staff at all times. They've been latching onto current world problems the entire show - upon arriving in the jungle, Heidi immediately said that this was worse than torture, and she would gladly do this to Al-Qaeda, whereas Spencer was more upset that he was more rich and famous than everyone around him.
Note: Spencer and Heidi are of a new breed of celebutants who are only famous for being famous. If you haven't seen their show The Hills, please imagine a thoroughly diverse cast where everyone is Paris Hilton.
I'm honestly not sure if Spencer has ever done a days work (though I'm sure he considers all those interviews to be taxing on his "me time," which is about 98% of his time. The other two per cent is "pretending to love women" time.)
Anyways, Extra's website reports:
The insider sets the record straight with "Extra," saying, "Accusations that Heidi and/or Spencer were harmed in any way are untrue. They quit the show last Monday; stayed in a hotel for 3 days. Then on Thursday, they re-joined show and entered the 'Lost Chamber.' They stayed in Chamber from 4:30PM until 6:30AM."
The source insists the Lost Chamber posed no harm to the "Hills" duo. "The environment in the "Lost Chamber" was not in any way harmful or dangerous; no critters, just a few ordinary bugs. They were indoors -- never in any danger or facing life-threatening situations. Absolutely no one is or was being held against their will."
This, of course, completely nullifies testimony to E! Online's Marc Malkin from Stephanie Pratt (whoever the hell that is):
"They kept them locked up and through the roof they were dropping spiders the size of [Heidi's] hands in on her in the black. They treated them like they were criminals or terrorists. She was throwing up 30 times with nothing in her stomach. She was really sick. She thought she was dying….I know they pulled such shitty antics. But being treated like criminals or terrorists? It's insane!"
Malkin continues, revealing more from his inside source:
My show insider insists the newlyweds were not only fed, but they were only in the lost chamber for about 14 hours. "They slept most of the time," said the insider, who asked not to be identified. "And when they weren't sleeping, they were laying side by side praying."
The insider also said Heidi was not vomiting: "They were in happy spirits when they came out of the chamber."
Now, sources say, Spencer is considering suing NBC for its treatment of him and Heidi, while NBC is threatening to sue the newlyweds if they don't live up to their contract and bail in the show.
I can honestly say that I'm pretty sure no one was suprised by Extra and E! Online's report. We all knew that the Ambiguously
Retarded* Developmentally Delayed Duo were full of shit and I'm glad the producers and an "insider" set things straight. These two knuckleheads** couldn't tell Torture from their 8x10 Glossies of each other they keep on their separate nightstands. (Quite frankly, waking up to an image of either of them is torture.) I can't wait till America falls out of love/hate with these two so they can finally be out of a career and out of this blog. But as long as the public keeps listening to Spencer being a "Super Villian" and Heidi being his deficient Harley Quinn, I will continue to blog about it (further hindering my own goal. Hmm..... Irony?) One day, we'll learn that Spencer's creepy flesh-colored beard is actually hair plugs from the base of Heidi's skull, and they're only together in case his plugs go bad.
*No matter how applicable it is, it's never nice to call someone retarded.
**What am I, Ninety?
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Other cast members allegedly say this is "the same as guantanamo bay."
Guantanamo Bay? More like
Aside from the fact that multiple reports confirm that these two are worse than Troop Beverly Hills, I'm pretty sure that a) torture is illegal, and b) beans and rice is what mexico thrives on. Then again, I know nothing about geography or imports. Mexico is near Atlantis, right? (Look it up on google maps, I'm not wrong.)
I'm one of those people that tries to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, but these two clearly couldn't even get their G.E.D. from Clown School. They are solely famous for being famous, and a complete waste of skin. Personally, I think they should donate their skin to burn victims in the hopes that one day, they can grow their own creepy flesh-colored beards.
Also, did anyone else ever notice that Spencer and Heidi look like fraternal twins?
So I finally sat down and tried to watch I'm a Celebrity... and honestly, I couldn't take Speidi. After thirty minutes they had me screaming "get me out of here!"
Heidi's Memorable Quote: "I feel like everything's been taken from me... and not in the good way."
Spencer's Memorable Quote: "I'm too rich and famous to be cleaning up John Salley's poop."
It's really good to know that fame hasn't gone to his head, or anything. Being a rich, white, straight, god-loving, republican pothead is so fucking hard. I, personally, know exactly what it's like. Seeing as how I toke every day, go to church, and swim in my money.
(That's me over there. What you can't see is my HUGE bong shaped like a stripper on a cross.)
What I love is how completely, 100% fake they are - for starters, Heidi is listed on the credits as "Heidi Pratt"... like anyone would call her that. Secondly, they would not shut up about "ohh, my husband! Ohh, my wife!!" Nothing screams fake marriage more than talking about how married you are incessantly. What I love most was the "I mean I can't be myself around all these strangers! I can't cuddle with my husband or do wife things!" then in the confession she was all "I can't not have sex with you for that long!" Or course by this we all know that what she really was lamenting was her inability to roll a fattie on live TV.
However, what truly makes this show a blessed monument of what the inventors of television truly intened their masterpiece to exemplify was Spencer Pratt correcting the position of his testicles, saying "ahh, readjustment. Thank the Lord."
I had to stop watching. I couldn't continue because I'm not a violent person, but I was about to grab some adult diapers and drive to wherever the fucking hills are and personally skin them. I just could not take it. The worst part is that I think if Heidi had come alone, she would have lasted at least another night... but it's clear that she's become Spencer's puppet. Problem: her puppeteer